Trying to get back into the rhythm of writing every day after a decade off has been a struggle. When you are doing a million other things already and feel like you are busy from eyes open to eyes shut it seems like madness to add another thing. But if it is something you really want to do then you’ll find the time right?
I obviously need a schedule. Not that I’m very good at sticking to schedules when everyone’s wants and needs dictate my time and activities (not complaining, just is what it is as a mom and wife and daughter and sister and friend). But just putting it on my To Do List isn’t working at all. I didn’t really think it would seeing as my To Do List remains over twenty items long every single day of my life. Obviously adding to the To Do List was one of those instances where my optimism was actually denial.
When the hubby does something to irritate me or the kids are acting all unappreciative and kid like I get all in a mental huff and swear I’m going to take two hours for me every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, ditch the lot of them and curl up in one of those comfy chairs I saw in the library as I hurriedly rushed through with my noisy baby trying to see what the gorgeous building 2 miles from my house looked like that I had never been into. When I go through it in my head I line every family member up like the Brady Bunch and tell them, “This is how it is going to be. I’m a writer. And I can’t write because I can’t even think in complete sentences without one of you wanting or needing something that I will, without fail, put before anything I could ever want. So three days a week you all will have to take care of each other for two solid hours. And do so without giving me two hours of cleaning up, patching up, or bandaging up to do. You are dismissed.”
Of course that speech is never going to get said because I don’t want anybody thinking I put something before them and nobody ever leaves when you say “dismissed”. They just stand there looking confused. But even if I asked nicely and everyone said “That’s a great idea!” and “You totally deserve that!” or “Just tell us what you need cause we are here to support your.” I would get maybe a trip to the library every two weeks, tops. With so much family stuff going between gymnastics, school, karate, MBA classes and the like, the only thing that is going to go undone if there is even the slightest wrinkle is my two hours.
Schedule time to write. I will.
The Real World schedule is this: After 11pm when the entire house is asleep and I’m picking up toys or making frittatas for my hubby’s breakfast the next morning I’m going to sit my butt down and write. I’m going to write for an hour. And it doesn’t matter what I write, but write I will.
Not make a plan to write. Not research what to write. Not sit in front of the laptop or notepad and think about what to write. But just write.
Only the lord knows where that is headed but I’m excited.