Bad Mommy

K is for Kindness – A to Z on Child Abuse Prevention

There is no excuse for abusing and neglecting a child. Factors such as drugs and alcohol or a history of victimization of the parent/guardian substantially raise the odds of abuse in a home. But there is also a correlation between abuse and the inability or refusal to deal with the everyday stressors in life. Parents and guardians lacking the support systems and coping skills to handle the responsibilities and hard work that go into caring for and raising a baby or multiple children, regardless of their socio-economic status, can create high-risk situations for children in those homes.

K is for Kindness Child Abuse Prevention Month

Just a little can mean a whole lot.

Sometimes it seems like every door is closing in your face. That no one hears you or even sees you. That you are doing it all on your own and you are doing it all wrong. That you will never NOT feel like you do right now. This kind of despair in the adults of a household can breed devastating results in the home.

 

One small ray of sunshine. One breath of fresh air. One break in the madness. When faced with an impossible situation, one touch of hope may change your life. It could make such a difference why would you not run out your door and do one of these things Right Now?

HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN HAVE AN IMMEDIATE IMPACT ON A FAMILY IN YOUR COMMUNITY

Kindness Child Abuse Prevention Month

Give a helping hand.

 

 Random Acts of Kindness that won’t cost you much time or money but to someone they could mean EVERYTHING.

  1.  Say “Good Morning” to the person standing next to you in line or on the train.
  2. Pay the toll for the driver behind you.
  3. Write a letter and put it in the mail to someone, young or old. Remember how great it felt to get mail that wasn’t a bill or ad.
  4. Offer to make a grocery store run for an elderly neighbor or the lady next door who has four kids.
  5. Give a homeless person your left overs when you leave a restaurant. Especially if you’re pretty sure it’s going to end up in your trash or trashing your diet.
  6. Put a coin in a meter that has expired or getting ready to expire.
  7. At the grocery store, don’t let anyone put back groceries because they are a dollar short if you have a dollar to spare.
  8. Hold the door for a mother/father with children or pregnant woman, even if it takes a really long time.
  9. Look someone in the eyes and wish them a good day like you mean it.
  10. If you see someone struggling with their children in public it is stressful for everyone around. You don’t want to offer to help with the kids. That can be either scary or insulting. But do offer to help with the task the kids are making more difficult. Help get the stroller through the door. Give up your seat so she can put a kid there. Carry her tray to her table for her so she can hold her kids hands or push a stroller.
  11. Say “Please” and “Thank You” and “Excuse Me” like you mean it to everyone. It’s not just respectful… it’s refreshing.
  12. Let a car in your lane. You are now one car length further from reaching your destination but you might have just prevented some road rage.
  13. Offer to baby sit for a mom.
  14. Stop what you are doing and concentrate everything on listening to someone who needs an ear.
  15. Use the comment/complaint box to compliment great service you received by name.
  16. Offer a hug without question or advice.
  17. Ask “How are you really doing?” when the usual response of “fine” doesn’t seem fine at all.
  18. Leave a really good tip for really good service. A lot of times 15% seems like too much but sometimes it is not enough.
  19. If you are able, pick up the tab of a person or family when you are out eating. (Someone did this for me once when I was out with my kids who were acting like miniature hooligans. I didn’t need it but thinking of it now feels like walking in soft sunshine which isn’t even close to how wonderful it felt at the time.)
  20. Smile at the people you pass.
  21. Donate food and items directly to food banks, women’s shelters and children’s homes. Goodwill is great but they sell your items to fund their efforts. A woman in a shelter could use your never-wear suit on a job interview. That crib will never be empty at the children’s home. And the green beans your husband won’t eat will sure be tasty to a hungry family.
  22. Say something nice to everyone you speak to today.
  23. If it seems like someone could use a chance to vent (friend or stranger), create an opportunity and a space for them to do that. You don’t need to solve their problem. Just let them get it out.
  24. Let people in line behind you go before you if it makes sense. They have one item or are obviously in a hurry. The kids are crying or you have a circumstance you know will tie up the line for a while. Things like that could be little to you and a lifesaver for someone else.
  25. Leave your change in the snack or soda machine. Finding a few coins makes it seem like good things are coming your way.
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Day 7 – What did you learn today? Who did you love? What made you laugh?

A three-part question, huh? I’m trying to not re-read the 35 questions since I embarked on this challenge but if the 35 questions is actually more like 100 questions I might have to block more time for this every middle of the night.

What did I learn today?

I learned that it is time for me to take a break. It happens periodically. Maybe twice a year where I just have used up all my patience and compassion and just want to tell everybody they can go jump off a cliff. And I mean everyone. The guy who knocked the chips off the shelf at the grocery store and looked down at them and kept walking. My teenager who called his teacher a “snitch” in class today when some other kid got sent to the principal’s office (really??). All one year olds who have learned this high-pitched scream that I imagine must be what a dog whistle sounds like to dogs. Just every one… off a cliff. Metaphorically.

This isn’t good for anybody! Ever heard the saying “If momma’s not happy, nobody’s happy”? In my house everyone knows this to be true. Momma is usually happy but I haven’t been taking care of myself. Too many projects, too many late nights, no breaks. Obviously if I go on 5 hours of sleep EVERY night for months eventually something is going to give. So its time to give myself a massage appointment. Right on to the To Do list. Number 43 – make and keep massage appointment.

Who did I love?

Despite my lowered mental capacity today, boy oh boy did I love up on the babies (3 ¾ year old daughter and 16 month old son in the smallest bearable measurement of age for non-parents). They are with me all day every day and though they drive me utterly insane they are also incredibly beautiful and funny and all the best and worst parts of me in these little huggable packages. Plus my grandma is here visiting and she is a super sassy 77 year old version of me so she’s been getting love all day too. In between all the messes and screaming and cleaning and cooking (the kids, not the grandma) it’s been a love fest in here today. Not too different from any other day.

What made me laugh?

Oh my goodness… if you could sit in my living room and listen to my grandmother’s stories you’d cry laughing. She’s so funny. Such a spitfire. And she’s hit that age where she can do or say just about anything she wants and you just have to take it so with no limit she is really too much to handle in the best way possible. I can’t wait until I get that age.

My cousin is getting married this weekend and handsome man that he is all tall, dark and athletic with the light eyes the ladies love. Well he has found him a, by all other accounts, plain, average looking wife but my grandmother just will not stop about how she looks like a big o’ strong man. In describing her she pointed to my 6ft 4in ex-linebacker husband and said she had shoulders like him and could move this couch all by herself if she wanted to. It’s like having my own comedy show every night she is here. It really is just such a blessing to have a day that is Great Grandma, Grandma, Mom and Daughter all together so I’m enjoying this immensely.

Bad Mommy… never sent out the photos.

The monsters in their angel disguises.

The monsters in their angel disguises.

School Photos…these are  already haunting me with neither of my babies in school yet while my 17 year old son tells me 10 hrs before his school pictures that his school pictures – as in year book forever picture that gets shown on the television special when you become famous or infamous – pictures are in the morning.  Not caring that he needs a hair cut and a pressed shirt.  School Photos is going on my list of things I wish didn’t exist.

We took these photos over six months ago and my poor baby boy was six months old and staring at the camera lady who resembled the skeleton puppet from Tales from the Crypt so we never got a smile out of him.  Haven’t hung up the gorgeous big print or sent out a single wallet or 5×7 to any of the dozens of people who would have loved them six months ago. Now the girl looks much the same but the boy looks like a curly haired NFL rookie midget at 13 months  which makes sending them out now pointless.  So I need to go take more pictures. Yeah… booooo.   But if nothing else these got a blog post!