Relationships

K is for Kindness – A to Z on Child Abuse Prevention

There is no excuse for abusing and neglecting a child. Factors such as drugs and alcohol or a history of victimization of the parent/guardian substantially raise the odds of abuse in a home. But there is also a correlation between abuse and the inability or refusal to deal with the everyday stressors in life. Parents and guardians lacking the support systems and coping skills to handle the responsibilities and hard work that go into caring for and raising a baby or multiple children, regardless of their socio-economic status, can create high-risk situations for children in those homes.

K is for Kindness Child Abuse Prevention Month

Just a little can mean a whole lot.

Sometimes it seems like every door is closing in your face. That no one hears you or even sees you. That you are doing it all on your own and you are doing it all wrong. That you will never NOT feel like you do right now. This kind of despair in the adults of a household can breed devastating results in the home.

 

One small ray of sunshine. One breath of fresh air. One break in the madness. When faced with an impossible situation, one touch of hope may change your life. It could make such a difference why would you not run out your door and do one of these things Right Now?

HERE IS WHERE YOU CAN HAVE AN IMMEDIATE IMPACT ON A FAMILY IN YOUR COMMUNITY

Kindness Child Abuse Prevention Month

Give a helping hand.

 

 Random Acts of Kindness that won’t cost you much time or money but to someone they could mean EVERYTHING.

  1.  Say “Good Morning” to the person standing next to you in line or on the train.
  2. Pay the toll for the driver behind you.
  3. Write a letter and put it in the mail to someone, young or old. Remember how great it felt to get mail that wasn’t a bill or ad.
  4. Offer to make a grocery store run for an elderly neighbor or the lady next door who has four kids.
  5. Give a homeless person your left overs when you leave a restaurant. Especially if you’re pretty sure it’s going to end up in your trash or trashing your diet.
  6. Put a coin in a meter that has expired or getting ready to expire.
  7. At the grocery store, don’t let anyone put back groceries because they are a dollar short if you have a dollar to spare.
  8. Hold the door for a mother/father with children or pregnant woman, even if it takes a really long time.
  9. Look someone in the eyes and wish them a good day like you mean it.
  10. If you see someone struggling with their children in public it is stressful for everyone around. You don’t want to offer to help with the kids. That can be either scary or insulting. But do offer to help with the task the kids are making more difficult. Help get the stroller through the door. Give up your seat so she can put a kid there. Carry her tray to her table for her so she can hold her kids hands or push a stroller.
  11. Say “Please” and “Thank You” and “Excuse Me” like you mean it to everyone. It’s not just respectful… it’s refreshing.
  12. Let a car in your lane. You are now one car length further from reaching your destination but you might have just prevented some road rage.
  13. Offer to baby sit for a mom.
  14. Stop what you are doing and concentrate everything on listening to someone who needs an ear.
  15. Use the comment/complaint box to compliment great service you received by name.
  16. Offer a hug without question or advice.
  17. Ask “How are you really doing?” when the usual response of “fine” doesn’t seem fine at all.
  18. Leave a really good tip for really good service. A lot of times 15% seems like too much but sometimes it is not enough.
  19. If you are able, pick up the tab of a person or family when you are out eating. (Someone did this for me once when I was out with my kids who were acting like miniature hooligans. I didn’t need it but thinking of it now feels like walking in soft sunshine which isn’t even close to how wonderful it felt at the time.)
  20. Smile at the people you pass.
  21. Donate food and items directly to food banks, women’s shelters and children’s homes. Goodwill is great but they sell your items to fund their efforts. A woman in a shelter could use your never-wear suit on a job interview. That crib will never be empty at the children’s home. And the green beans your husband won’t eat will sure be tasty to a hungry family.
  22. Say something nice to everyone you speak to today.
  23. If it seems like someone could use a chance to vent (friend or stranger), create an opportunity and a space for them to do that. You don’t need to solve their problem. Just let them get it out.
  24. Let people in line behind you go before you if it makes sense. They have one item or are obviously in a hurry. The kids are crying or you have a circumstance you know will tie up the line for a while. Things like that could be little to you and a lifesaver for someone else.
  25. Leave your change in the snack or soda machine. Finding a few coins makes it seem like good things are coming your way.
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J is for Juvenile Justice – A to Z on Child Abuse Prevention

Many studies have been done showing that child abuse can lead to many unfortunate outcomes later in life. In “F is for Facts” you saw that children who experience child abuse and neglect are 9 times more likely to become involved in criminal activity. These startling numbers show once again that child abuse affects everyone. It is a human race problem when the actions of abusive and neglectful family life create a traumatic environment that is insufficient for proper mental, physical and social growth.

 

Many victims end up in the juvenile justice system.

Many victims end up in the juvenile justice system.

Being abused or neglected as a child increases the likelihood of arrest as a juvenile by 59%, as an adult by 28%, and for a violent crime by 30% according to a study published in 2001 titled “An Update on the ‘Cycle of Violence’”.  We have an huge justice system in this country and we also have a very extensive child protection system but they do not always work together and when a victim falls through the cracks of the protection system they often end up in our jails, further victimized and removed from the help they need to recover.

This graphic from the US Census shows the reported child abuse numbers by state, giving you an idea of the impact in your area if you do the math of how many of these children are going to end up committing a crime.

US Census Numbers on Child Abuse by State

US Census Numbers on Child Abuse by State

There is a way to make the system work better. Some cities are instituting some smart processes that could make an impact but many are not. I invite you to view this short video on Innovations in the Juvenile Justice System and think about what can be done to in your area to help victims not become part of the system.

 

 

I is for Involved – A to Z on Child Abuse Prevention

You’ve heard the stories. You’ve seen the statistics. The chances are pretty good that child abuse has touched your world if not personally then with someone you know in your family or community. We all know its wrong, and it must stop.

So what do you do? How can you get involved in the fight against child abuse?

Get Involved.  You can make a difference.

Get Involved. You can make a difference.

A is for Advocacy of this Blogging Series discussed a few of the many ways you can contribute to the fight against child abuse by speaking out and educating people. Here are some suggestions on additional ways to get involved.

The Short List to Getting Involved

Get to know your neighbors. Problems seem less overwhelming when support is nearby.
Help a family under stress. Offer to babysit, help with chores and errands, or suggest resources in the community that can help.
Reach out to children in your community. A smile or a word of encouragement can mean a lot to a child, whether from a parent or passing stranger.
Be an active community member. Lend a hand at local schools, community or faith-based organizations, children’s hospitals, social service agencies, or other places where families and children are supported.
Keep your neighborhood safe. Start a neighborhood watch or plan a local ‘night out’ community event. You will get to know your neighbors while helping to keep your neighborhood and children safe.
Promote child well-being in your personal life by being very conscious of your daily involvement and interaction with your family and other families.  30 Ways to Promote Child Well Being Child Welfare.gov provides a bunch of great little tips in this calendar:  CAP Parent Engagement Calendar

When you are ready to make a real commitment to getting involve you could:

  • Register to vote and get to know your elected officials. Taking an active role in the election process helps get policy-makers who are passionate about what you are passionate about in office and in a position to make changes that give more protection to children and victims. Be the voice of silent victims and communicate your concerns to your local city council, state legislators and federal Congresspersons. Meet face to face, write your policy-makers, and call your elected officials.
  • Use your influence to get the word out that there is a problem that needs to be addressed at a local and national level. Even if your circle of influence is five Twitter followers from India and a Facebook friends list of eight that includes your mom and five brothers you are still and influencer of people. You can speak to your professional associations, service clubs or religious institutions. Don’t spam people in person or online, simply get the word out about events, tell your personal story, engage in dialogue and get feedback on what other people are thinking and feeling. This educates the masses and can create partnerships that can affect change.
  • Become a volunteer or a leader. There are literally thousands of organizations that could use your help in their programs. The previous post “Giving Safely – an A to Z Bonus” details ways you can check if organizations you are interested in are legitimate. If you are unaware of the organizations in your community you could volunteer I’d like to make a suggestion. Simply go the search bar of your favorite internet home page and Yahoo, Google, or Bing “Child Abuse [your city]”. You’ll likely get some local news you were unaware of but you will also get a list of organizations in your area. You can also call 2-1-1 to find out about organizations that support families in your area. Do some research, check their background if anything seems off and find a few hours in your month that you can stop what you are doing and help the children in your community. Working with children and for a cause can be extremely rewarding and gratifying. Even if it is stuffing envelopes or making phone calls, all levels of volunteerism DO help.

Take a moment to think about what you could do towards the prevention of child abuse and how you could help victims. And then take the MOST IMPORTANT STEP and do something. Taking action makes a difference.

H is for Healing – A to Z on Child Abuse Prevention

I set up to write a post on the healing process for children of sexual child abuse specifically because of the added stigmas surround abuse of a sexual nature.  In doing my research I found a great website that addressed it better than I could after hours of research.

I’d like to thank the Advocacy Center for this great information on the subject of healing and encourage you to click the link and read the Advocacy Center side bar to explore more information like “Reducing Children’s Vulnerability to Sexual Abuse” and “Who Sexually Abuses Children”.

The Advocacy Center

 

H is for Healing

A to Z on Child Abuse Prevention

Beginning to Heal from Child Sexual Abuse

It may be very difficult for a survivor of child sexual abuse to talk about what happened to them.  Many survivors cannot or do not talk about the abuse right away, and sometimes they can’t even remember about the abuse until they are adults.

Some adult survivors think that because the abuse happened when they were a child that it is too late to begin talking about what happened and to heal.  This is not true!  It is never too late to begin to heal.

How will being abused as a child impact people as adults?

Abuses impacts different people in different ways, and there may be some survivors who feel little impact in their adult lives.  Other people may experience some negative impacts, such as generalized anxiety or fear, depression, difficulty with intimate relationships, difficulty trusting themselves or others and an increased risk for using drugs or alcohol.

Each person does things to cope in their own way, and each person does what they need to in order to survive the abuse.

What does the healing process look like?

Every person responds to trauma in a different way, and there is no one “right” way to heal.  A person may experience some of the following stages and emotions, and others may not.

  • Recognizing that healing is possible.  Survivors of abuse are not alone, it is never too late to talk about the abuse or ask for help.
  • The decision to heal.  The decision to heal from child sexual abuse is a powerful and positive choice.  It is a commitment to a journey, and for some it may take longer than they expected.
  • The Emergency Stage.  During this stage, the abuse may be all that the survivor can think about and it may feel as though their life is constantly in crisis.  This stage may feel very uncomfortable, but it is important that the survivors knows that it will come to an end.
  • Remembering.  Some people may have always had memories of the abuse, but for others they may have tried to minimize or stuff it away and forget about the abuse.
  • Believing the abuse happened.  As children, we sometimes deny that bad or scary things are happening because they are too hard to deal with or understand.  As adults, it can still be hard to face the reality of the abuse and to recognize the different ways it has impacted us.
  • Breaking the silence.  Speaking out about the abuse can be a very powerful step for survivors, and one that takes a great deal of courage.  Some choose to tell a counselor, some a family member or partner and others choose to speak out at a public event.
  • Understanding that the abuse is not their fault.  Abuse is never the fault of the person being abused.
  • Connecting to the child within.  It is important for the survivor to connect to the child that was hurt by the abuse, and to confront that pain and their fears.
  • Grieving.  Grief is a natural part of the healing process.  The survivor may grieve for the ways they were hurt, for not being protected or for missing out on their childhood.
  • Anger.  This is another natural response to abuse, but it is important that the survivor does not turn all of the anger inward toward themselves.  When addressed, anger can help guide people toward positive change.
  • Forgiveness?   Some people may want to forgive their abuser, but for others this is not a part of the healing process at all.
  • Spirituality.  For some survivors spirituality can be a source of comfort, inspiration, courage, love and strength during the healing process.
  • The process of change.  Survivors are faced with many changes during the healing process, and it can bring about a range of emotions.  It is important that the survivor be kind and take care of themselves during this process.
  • Resolution and moving on.  The healing process can be a long one, but there will come a point where the survivor feels like their life is more balanced and that they are no longer in constant crisis.  It is important for survivors to remember that there is no finish line to healing, they will have some good days and some hard days but the hard days will come less and less.
** The steps to healing were adapted from “Beginning to Heal: A First Book for Men and Women Who Were Sexually Abused As Children” by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis. 

F is for Facts – A to Z on Child Abuse Prevention

Children are abused on an epidemic level worldwide and sadly America’s numbers are gruesomely  high for a nation know as a world leader. I’ll give you the cold hard facts here and encourage you not to simply take my word for but to further educate yourself (AND OTHERS) using the sources links at the bottom of this post.

Note: Because national and state agencies collect and analyze their data in different ways, statistics will vary. Taking into account the under-reporting of abuse we can assume that these numbers would higher and NOT lower if all variables were removed.

 

THANK YOU FOR CARING!

 

THE FACTS:

  • Every year 6 million children will be part of a child abuse report.

  • About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children.

  • Approximately 70% of children that die from abuse are under the age of 4.

  • Children who experience child abuse and neglect are 9 times more likely to become involved in criminal activity.

  • More than 90% of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way.

  • Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across ethnic and cultural lines, within all religions and at all levels of education.

  • In one study, about 80% of 21 year olds that were abused as children met the criteria for at least one psychological disorder.

  • 14% of men and 36% of women in prison were abused as children – twice the frequency of the general population.

  • Abused children are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy and more likely to engage in sexually risky behavior.

  • Parents who abuse alcohol and drugs are three times more likely to abuse their children and four times more likely to neglect them.

  • As many as two-thirds of the people in treatment for drug abuse reported being abuse or neglected as children.

  • Adolescents with a report of abuse or neglect are three times more likely to have a substance abuse disorder before they are 18 years old.

 

Borrowed from Spydersden.wordpress.com

Borrowed from Spydersden.wordpress.com

Sources:

  1. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children’s Bureau. (2013). Child Maltreatment 2012. Available from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/research-data-technology/statistics-research/child-maltreatment
  2. United States Government Accountability Office, 2011. Child maltreatment: strengthening national data on child fatalities could aid in prevention (GAO-11-599). Retrieved from http://www.gao.gov/new.items/d11599.pdf
  3. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families Administration on Children, Youth and Families Children’s Bureau.Child Abuse and Neglect Fatalities 2011: Statistics and Interventions. Retrieved from http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/fatality.pdf
  4. Snyder, Howard, N. (2000, July). Sexual assault of young children as reported to law enforcement: victim, incident, and offender characteristics. Retrieved from http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/saycrle.pdf
  5. Long – Term Consequences of Child Abuse and Neglect. Child Welfare Information Gateway.Washington, D.C.: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2013. Retrieved from http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/long_term_consequences.cfm
  6. Fang, X., et al. The economic burden of child maltreatment in the United States and implications for prevention. Child Abuse & Neglect (2012), doi:10.1016/j.chiabu.2011.10.006 Retrieved from: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0145213411003140
  7. Harlow, C. U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs. (1999).Prior abuse reported by inmates and probationers (NCJ 172879) Retrieved from http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/content/pub/pdf/parip.pdf
  8. National Council on Child Abuse and Family Violence. Parental Substance Abuse A Major Factor In Child Abuse And Neglect. Retrieved from http://www.nccafv.org/parentalsubstanceabuse.htm
  9. Swan, N. (1998). Exploring the role of child abuse on later drug abuse: Researchers face broad gaps in information. NIDA Notes, 13(2). Retrieved from the National Institute on Drug Abuse website: www.nida.nih.gov/NIDA_Notes/NNVol13N2/exploring.html
  10. Every Child Matters Education Fund. (2012). We can do better: Child abuse deaths in America (3rd ed.). Retrieved from http://www.everychildmatters.org/storage/documents/pdf/reports/can_report_august2012_final.pdf
  11. Office on Child Abuse and Neglect, Children’s Bureau. Goldman, J., Salus, M. K., Wolcott, D., Kennedy, K. Y. (2003) A Coordinated Response to Child Abuse and Neglect: The Foundation for Practice, Chapter 5, retrieved from: https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/foundation/foundatione.cfm
  12. Wilson, E., Dolan, M., Smith, K., Casanueva, C., & Ringeisen, H. (2012). NSCAW Child Well-Being Spotlight: Adolescents with a History of Maltreatment Have Unique Service Needs That May Affect Their Transition to Adulthood. OPRE Report #2012-49, Washington, DC: Office of Planning, Research and Evaluation, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from: http://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/opre/youth_spotlight_v7.pdf
  13. Amy B. Silverman, Helen Z. Reinherz, Rose M. Giaconia, The long-term sequelae of child and adolescent abuse: A longitudinal community study, Child Abuse & Neglect, Volume 20, Issue 8, August 1996, Pages 709-723. retrieved from: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0145213496000592

 

B is for Bruises – A to Z on Child Abuse

Child Abuse PSA in Spain.

Child Abuse PSA in Spain.

A to Z on Child Abuse… B is for Bruises

Victims of abuse are rarely walking around with bruises for you to see.  The internal scars are forever for most.  So what might a victim of abuse show you that should raise questions?

Please read this very informative piece from the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

 

Child Abuse – The Hidden Bruises

The statistics on physical child abuse are alarming. It is estimated hundreds of thousands of children are physically abused each year by a parent or close relative. Thousands actually die as a result of the abuse. For those who survive, the emotional trauma remains long after the external bruises have healed. Communities and the courts recognize that these emotional “hidden bruises” can be treated. Early recognition and treatment is important to minimize the long term effect of physical abuse. Whenever a child says he or she has been abused, it must be taken seriously and immediately evaluated.

Children who have been abused may display:

  • a poor self image
  • sexual acting out
  • inability to trust or love others
  • aggressive, disruptive, and sometimes illegal behavior
  • anger and rage
  • self destructive or self abusive behavior, suicidal thoughts
  • passive, withdrawn or clingy behavior
  • fear of entering into new relationships or activities
  • anxiety and fears
  • school problems or failure
  • feelings of sadness or other symptoms of depression
  • flashbacks, nightmares
  • drug and alcohol abuse
  • sleep problems

Often the severe emotional damage to abused children does not surface until adolescence or even later, when many abused children become abusing parents. An adult who was abused as a child often has trouble establishing lasting and stable personal relationships. These men and women may have trouble with physical closeness, touching, intimacy, and trust as adults. They are also at higher risk for anxiety, depression, substance abuse, medical illness, and problems at school or work.

Early identification and treatment is important to minimize the long-term consequences of abuse. Qualified mental health professionals should conduct a comprehensive evaluation and provide treatment for children who have been abused. Through treatment, the abused child begins to regain a sense of self-confidence and trust. The family can also be helped to learn new ways of support and communicating with one another. Parents may also benefit from support, parent training and anger management.

Physical abuse is not the only kind of child abuse. Many children are also victims of neglect, or sexual abuse, or emotional abuse. In all kinds of child abuse, the child and the family can benefit from evaluation and treatment from a qualified mental health professional.

If you found this information helpful and would like to make good mental health a reality, consider donating to the Campaign for America’s Kids. Your support will help the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry continue to produce and distribute vital mental health information, free of charge.
You may also mail in your contribution. Please make checks payable to the AACAP and send to Campaign for America’s Kids, P.O. Box 96106, Washington, DC 20090.

 

REFERENCE TO LETTER A – ADVOCACY

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Advocacy Day is Fast Approaching—Please Make Sure to Sign Up Today!

Advocacy DayRegistration is open for AACAP’s annual Advocacy Day. Join us May 8th and 9th in Washington, D.C!

 

Dealing with Teenagers !#@$

San Francisco Photo taken by my son Mikeal at age 15

San Francisco Photo taken by my son Mikeal at age 15

Dealing with Teenagers !#@$

Raising a teenager is hard! I know, because I have one, and more often than not, it’s exhausting finding the right balance between being overprotective and being too lax.

There is a healthy middle ground, and finding that sweet spot was tough. Staying there is even harder as teens grow and mature, but there are steps you can take.

Click to read Five Steps to Establish Boundaries for Your Teen without Going Overboard

Love and Craigslist – Could This Be Your Christmas Miracle?

It’s the holidays and nothing warms my heart like Hallmark holiday movies. Christmas stories filled with tears and laughter, tragedy and triumph. I love this crap. Totally lacking in originality so I don’t have to think too hard and the obligatory happy ending so I know what I’m getting every time. This is what I crave during another mentally draining holiday season.

Funny enough, watching one movie in particular I saw the two main characters fatefully find each other on a Craigslist website that was called something like AndrewsList but the screenshot was identical. I say funny because while I’ve never posted or answered a romantic ad on Craigslist, I have heard enough horror stories from people who have. Taking a look at my local “Men for Women” ads displayed last night I’m going to venture that the love-will-conquer-all romantic holiday movie I watched earlier was not based in the state capitol of California.

Photo 1 – Is the man of your dreams a free click away?

Ads are organic and copied as is and MY OBSERVATIONS ARE ALL CAPS:

Craigslist – Men for Women

– Are you TALL – pic

I AM… BUT I’M IMMEDIATELY TERRIFIED AS TO WHY THAT WOULD BE A PRIORITY

– fUN GIrl – 42 (sacramento)

AT 42 YEARS OLD WE ALL KNOW THAT “FUN GIRL” MEANS NO EXPECTATIONS GIRL

– Looking For A Sexy Girl To Kick It With 420 Friendly – 27 (Arden)

IT APPEARS THAT 420 FRIENDLY WOULD BE AN ASSUMPTION AT THIS POINT

– Hello I just moved here – (roseville) pic

AND YOU ARE ALREADY ON CRAIGSLIST LOOKING FOR A DATE?

– Into Russian guys? – 33

WHO HAS EVER SAID “I’M LOOKING FOR A RUSSIAN GUY” OTHER THAN A RUSSIAN GIRL IN A FOREIGN FILM?

– Christmas dad Looking for his wish – 47 (Rocklin) pic

ROCKLIN IS OUTSIDE OF SACRAMENTO AND I THINK THE MOTTO IS “DIVORCE MEN LOVE IT HERE”

– Kiss you all over –

YUCK AND REALLY A DOUBLE YUCK WITH NO PICTURE.

– i wanna XXXXXX you in my car –

I BELIEVE THERE IS A SECTION FOR THIS KINDA STUFF?!? THAT IS ONE X PER LETTER FOR CODE BREAKERS.

– hi girls 🙂 – 29 (sacramento) pic

COULD THIS BE A NORMAL GUY? I DIDN’T OPEN ANY OF THESE BUT I SEE POTENTIAL FOR NORMALCY.

– POF Sucks! Match Sucks! – (Seriously!!)

IS THIS HEADLINE TO ATTRACT AN EQUALLY CHEAP WOMAN WHO REFUSES TO PAY FOR LOVE MATCHING?

– fit, mature white M 4 thin sexy black F with booty – (sac)

YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE A MAN WHO KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE WANTS

– Funny…Fit…Gentleman… – 46 (seeking a sweet, thin & cute woman)

I BET HE LIVES IN ROCKLIN TOO

– fit & take charge guy loves a laid back cutie! –

SOUNDS A LITTLE 50 SHADES OF GREY TO ME. MAKE SURE TO PICK A SHORT “SAFE” WORD.

– ♪ sweet…cute figure…but have a bad girl side too??? ♪ – (eMail or hit me on KiK)

AS DANNY GLOVER WOULD SAY ” I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS SH*T”. WHAT IS KiK???

– Handsome mystery man seeks petite one –

I’M 5FT 9 SO I HAVE AN INGRAINED DISTRUST FOR MEN WHO PREFER PETITE. MYSTERY SHORT MAN???

– fit mature white M 4 black cutie w/a great body & LOTS of booty – (over 26 & MUST look hot in heels!!)

YOU AGAIN? GIVE IT A MINUTE… THERE HAS TO BE AT LEAST ON BLACK CUTIE WITH A BOOTIE ON HERE

– Handsome mystery man seeks petite one –

DOUBLE POST ARE A BAD SIGN. OOZES DESPERATION.

– DO YOU LIKE TO KISS & CUDDLE? –

VISIONS OF A COUPLE ON A COUCH SURROUNDED BY CATS POPPED IN MY HEAD

– I’m 27, 6′, looking for a petite girl…. – m4w – 27 (arden arcade)

WHAT’S WITH THE TALL AND THE PETITE? IS IT CODE FOR NOT CHUBBY?

– mature, fit, funny REAL MAN 4 younger sexy, slender & sweet – 45 (under 38)

WHAT’S SO GREAT ABOUT YOU THAT YOU GET TO PICK YOUNGER WOMEN? MUST LIVE IN ROCKLIN.

– seeking a cutie with a (small waist) & a full booty –

YOU LEFT OUT BLACK BUT WE ALL KNOW ITS YOU. NOBODY ELSE ON HERE SAYS BOOTY.

– I love a tiny woman (short, thin & very sweet) – 45

OK LITTLE GUYS… AVERAGE AND TALL WOMEN NEED LOVE TOO. ONLY ONE GUY REALIZES THAT?

– Older for younger – m4w – 53 (Vacaville)

MOVE TO ROCKLIN AND JOIN THE CLUB

– In search of Soccer mom –

I IMAGINE THIS GUY IS 18 YEARS OLD

– CUDDLE NIGHT! – 33

AWWWWWWWW. YOUR CATS ARE SO CUTE BUT DO THEY REALLY SLEEP WITH YOU.

– does this work – 31 (north sacramento)

NOPE. IT DOES NOT.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A CRAIGSLIST DATE? I’d love to hear your story!